- Started the day with a good breakfast toast with peanut butter and jam, 3 omega-3 eggs, 1/4c salsa.
- "Abducted" at noon by an armed and disguised squad. Blind folded, driven around, spun around, duck taped to a chair, silly stringed, nose-hair plucked, bug zapped(!), nearly pie'd, dressed in sombrero, "bridal shower" sash, and grass skirt.
- Fed Thai whisky and given a fire-arm.
- Taken to shoot guns! 44. Mag "Ruger Super Warhawk" (?), USP tactical, Springfield Armory XD and a Ruger mini 14! Killed zombies and felt like a big-er man!
- Casino! Played roulette. Won a little playing randomly and was playing "26" the entire time. Last spin before we leave I'm going to put all my winnings down, the guys are telling me to put it all on "26" and let it ride, I say "That's stupid..." or something to that effect and just spread it around like I have been... "26" hits and I would have won $1500 or so. I just can't take a freakin hint and put my last $10 of winnings on 18 (my brother's wedding date)... and "26" comes up again. I've calculated that if I could see through time I would have won just over $49,000 had I let my first win on 26 "ride". Boo-Urms!
- After casino we went to a local sports mega-bar facility that actually doesn't suck! Food, fooseball, family I have wrongly abused over the years, more friends and fiends and got totally annihilated over the course of about 6 hours whilst eating fried food and playing games.
- Then when we were good and impaired we went to a gentleman's club which was as good as it ever is. I don't care what it sounds like but anywhere hot ladies will disrobe for money is good in my book. I tend to agree that *they* are not the ones being exploited when they're making $180/hour + on a Saturday night. I recieved some personal attention from some of the employees and was generally treated very well. There are a few bits of missing data...really no more than a couple of hours with strange flashes of momentary clarity. What a strange place...Boobie good.
Sunday - "Things have been ok for me, except that I'm a zombie now."
Water... I'm awoken by the need for it.
There are men working inside my head. I think they are paving my brain...
A short visit to the voodoo doctor later I'm upright and able to speak. Raegan had a *very* good time last night and was feeling ambitious enough to invite the family and bridal party over for brunch.
I was a bit surly and I think my mom's patented passive-aggressive attitude really rubbed Raegan's bridesmaids the wrong way :( Mom really needs to stop trying to make me choose a side between the two of them if only to save us all the drama.
I'll choose my wife every time.
End of story.
No comments:
Post a Comment