I dream of a time not too far from now where I can feel the satisfaction of having completed a transformation from what I am now into a healthy person. No empty juvinile fantasies of the unattainable, just a time where my early end is less likely. I owe a debt to the people that love me to get healthy. I think about this every single morning of every day.
I'm sure this bulk is holding me back career wise as well, that next leap to Development Director won't be easy and I'll need every advantage if I'm going to do it before I'm 33. There's still time enough to make the changes required.
Today I did P90X Shoulders and Back with 30 minutes of cardio on my new treadmill which burnt 260 calories. Not a bad start at all. All I need to do is get to it and stop procrastinating. The diet will come easier now that I'm getting exercise more frequently as well.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
It's like my own private corner of hell...
"It's not the end of the world, but you can see it from here."
I guess it's a constant cycle for me, peel it off and put it back on, year-in and year out. Here is where I should make some self deprecating comment on how "I can set my watch to it" each year but I'm too tired for that shit. Back to quite literally "do or die". I wonder how much longer I can keep this up.
The worst thing is, the older I get the better life is. How come no one told that fat, buck toothed 12 year old that when he grew up everything would be fine. That he would have a beautiful wife that loved him for who he is, that he would have a great career at a top video game developer, that he would be closer to his family then ever even though the dynamic and relationships have changed over the years, and that he would accumulate a group of loyal and wonderful friends to share his life with.
I could go on, listing the reasons my life is wonderful and worth living to the fullest but I hate to sound like a braggart. Instead I'll reaffirm that I have more than ever to live for and that I owe it not only to myself but the people that love me to get healthy. Beautiful and attractive aren't the goal, in my heart they never were. Vanity is a poor motivator because one you stop feeling lousy about yourself the mind is excellent at manufacturing reasons things are "good enough" to not push forward. I know my addiction, my disease and I'll keep fighting it.
All that to say: I'm starting again. Because there really isn't a choice at all anymore.
I guess it's a constant cycle for me, peel it off and put it back on, year-in and year out. Here is where I should make some self deprecating comment on how "I can set my watch to it" each year but I'm too tired for that shit. Back to quite literally "do or die". I wonder how much longer I can keep this up.
The worst thing is, the older I get the better life is. How come no one told that fat, buck toothed 12 year old that when he grew up everything would be fine. That he would have a beautiful wife that loved him for who he is, that he would have a great career at a top video game developer, that he would be closer to his family then ever even though the dynamic and relationships have changed over the years, and that he would accumulate a group of loyal and wonderful friends to share his life with.
I could go on, listing the reasons my life is wonderful and worth living to the fullest but I hate to sound like a braggart. Instead I'll reaffirm that I have more than ever to live for and that I owe it not only to myself but the people that love me to get healthy. Beautiful and attractive aren't the goal, in my heart they never were. Vanity is a poor motivator because one you stop feeling lousy about yourself the mind is excellent at manufacturing reasons things are "good enough" to not push forward. I know my addiction, my disease and I'll keep fighting it.
All that to say: I'm starting again. Because there really isn't a choice at all anymore.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
P90X Round 2 - Day 2 - POW!
Well I'm back to it after a great three weeks off! Vegas was everything I wanted it to be and I was surprisingly restrained after having bought hundreds of dollars of new clothes to go out in! It was exactly what I needed to cap off four months of hard work both at the office and on the fitness program. I even went to the Caesar's Palace pool with my wife and friends, showing off my new lean-ish figure and getting a pretty killer sunburn on my unadorned head. After playing too much poker and seeing some great shows it was time to come back. All good things...
As of the 17th I'm back on P90X Classic, and after 3 weeks off I was feeling my first day of Chest and Back pretty severely last night. I matched my first round numbers pretty well with maybe a 10% decline at most on pushups. The biggest change I noticed is that I am able to do a few varieties of pullups almost entirely unassisted by the chair, with only the tip of one foot stabilizing me. It's a damn good feeling but incredibly unexpected.
My next big milestone for the summer is our family's July long weekend trip to the lake cabin, over the years there have been a large number of friends added to the mix and now it has evolved into a multi-day party for all involved. I want to look good at the beach, but mostly I want to continue to *feel* as good as I do now. Not just from a self worth and confidence perspective (which is important) but also my overall health.
Speaking of health; I did my life insurance medical tests just prior to leaving for Vegas and despite some thinly veiled trickiness from the insurance company I think it went pretty well. My resting heart rate and blood pressure were totally normal and I had dropped almost 25lbs since the last medical. Over the next year I see myself getting down to about 185lbs and maintaining it through P90X and good eating habits. Obviously I will be attempting to get as shredded as possible over the summer to ensure I get full yield out of my hard work. That said, with Xmas plans pointing towards a tropical all-inclusive destination with some friends I will need to bring it for the remainder of the year.
I can't say I wasn't dragging my feet coming back to the X yesterday but it's part of my lifestyle now and while I don't always look forward to it, I'm always glad I took the time to get it done!
Monday May 17, 2010 - P90X Chest and Back (1st round only)
As of the 17th I'm back on P90X Classic, and after 3 weeks off I was feeling my first day of Chest and Back pretty severely last night. I matched my first round numbers pretty well with maybe a 10% decline at most on pushups. The biggest change I noticed is that I am able to do a few varieties of pullups almost entirely unassisted by the chair, with only the tip of one foot stabilizing me. It's a damn good feeling but incredibly unexpected.
My next big milestone for the summer is our family's July long weekend trip to the lake cabin, over the years there have been a large number of friends added to the mix and now it has evolved into a multi-day party for all involved. I want to look good at the beach, but mostly I want to continue to *feel* as good as I do now. Not just from a self worth and confidence perspective (which is important) but also my overall health.
Speaking of health; I did my life insurance medical tests just prior to leaving for Vegas and despite some thinly veiled trickiness from the insurance company I think it went pretty well. My resting heart rate and blood pressure were totally normal and I had dropped almost 25lbs since the last medical. Over the next year I see myself getting down to about 185lbs and maintaining it through P90X and good eating habits. Obviously I will be attempting to get as shredded as possible over the summer to ensure I get full yield out of my hard work. That said, with Xmas plans pointing towards a tropical all-inclusive destination with some friends I will need to bring it for the remainder of the year.
I can't say I wasn't dragging my feet coming back to the X yesterday but it's part of my lifestyle now and while I don't always look forward to it, I'm always glad I took the time to get it done!
Monday May 17, 2010 - P90X Chest and Back (1st round only)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
P90X Day 98 - The little things...
One of the little known advantages to taking off a decent amount of body fat and losing inches off ones waist is a little more reach "down south" so to speak. My wife gave me a huge confidence boost today as I was dressing for work about my new found gains. I think she's in for it when I get home ;)
After the convention this weekend I found myself at 221lbs which isn't too bad, that said I think I'm going to have a very hard time hitting my goal weight of 211lbs by the time I leave for Vegas next week. To that end I'm going to attempt to eat right and do all 6 of my workouts this week to really hit it hard. I also have my final life insurance physical to contend with this Saturday that I will need to prepare for.
Monday April 26, 2010 - P90X Chest, Shoulders, Triceps
Tuesday April 27, 2010 - P90X Plyometrics + AbRipperX
After the convention this weekend I found myself at 221lbs which isn't too bad, that said I think I'm going to have a very hard time hitting my goal weight of 211lbs by the time I leave for Vegas next week. To that end I'm going to attempt to eat right and do all 6 of my workouts this week to really hit it hard. I also have my final life insurance physical to contend with this Saturday that I will need to prepare for.
Monday April 26, 2010 - P90X Chest, Shoulders, Triceps
Tuesday April 27, 2010 - P90X Plyometrics + AbRipperX
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
P90X Day 92 (100) - This is why we can't have nice things.
It has been a long road through my first 90 days of P90X and I have to say I never thought I would be disappointed in myself for only having worked out an average of 3.6 times per week for three months!
With our trip to Vegas coming up on May 7 I want to be in the best shape possible and as such I am going to continue through weeks 11, 12, and 13 of the program. The reason of course why I am at the 90 day mark prior to finishing the program is that as it was my first run through I extended some of the earlier phases where I wasn't able to really "bring it" as much as I should have due to a lack of familiarity with the work outs, a week long sickness or just the time constraints of being a project manager on a large video game project.
I'll be doing a complete retrospective for my first run through of the program after I have finished week 13 however at this moment here are the numbers:
Overview:
After 100 days total doing P90X (with extra weeks etc.) I performed 51 workouts total (3.65 workouts approximately ever 7 days). Had I been following the program more closely as designed I would have performed 84 workouts and exercised 6 out of every 7 days. This means that by the numbers I only worked out 61% as much as the program called for in this first run through.
Workouts Per Month:
January 2010 (From Jan 11) - 10 of 18 workouts
February 2010 - 14 of 24 workouts
March 2010 - 18 of 27 workouts
April 2010 (To April 21) - 9 of 18 workouts
Workout Dates P90X Pass #1
With our trip to Vegas coming up on May 7 I want to be in the best shape possible and as such I am going to continue through weeks 11, 12, and 13 of the program. The reason of course why I am at the 90 day mark prior to finishing the program is that as it was my first run through I extended some of the earlier phases where I wasn't able to really "bring it" as much as I should have due to a lack of familiarity with the work outs, a week long sickness or just the time constraints of being a project manager on a large video game project.
I'll be doing a complete retrospective for my first run through of the program after I have finished week 13 however at this moment here are the numbers:
Overview:
After 100 days total doing P90X (with extra weeks etc.) I performed 51 workouts total (3.65 workouts approximately ever 7 days). Had I been following the program more closely as designed I would have performed 84 workouts and exercised 6 out of every 7 days. This means that by the numbers I only worked out 61% as much as the program called for in this first run through.
Workouts Per Month:
January 2010 (From Jan 11) - 10 of 18 workouts
February 2010 - 14 of 24 workouts
March 2010 - 18 of 27 workouts
April 2010 (To April 21) - 9 of 18 workouts
Workout Dates P90X Pass #1
| Jan 11, 2010 - Chest and Back (P90X start date) |
| Jan 13, 2010 - Shoulders and Arms |
| Jan 15, 2010 - Legs and Back |
| Jan 17, 2010 - KempoX |
| Jan 18, 2010 - Chest and Back |
| Jan 19, 2010 - PlyometricsX |
| Jan 21, 2010 - Shoulders and Arms |
| Jan 23, 2010 - Legs and Back |
| Jan 24, 2010 - KempoX |
| Jan 26, 2010 - Chest and Back |
| Feb 1, 2010 - Chest and Back |
| Feb 2, 2010 - PlyometricsX |
| Feb 5, 2010 - Shoulders and Arms |
| Feb 7, 2010 - KempoX + Ab RipperX |
| Feb 9, 2010 - P90X Chest and Back + Ab RipperX |
| Feb 10, 2010 - Plyometrics X |
| Feb 11, 2010 - P90X Shoulders and Arms |
| Feb 13, 2010 - KempoX + Ab RipperX |
| Feb 14, 2010 - P90X Legs and Back |
| Feb 15, 2010 - YogaX |
| Feb 16, 2010 - Core Synergistics |
| Feb 17, 2010 - KempoX + Ab Ripper X |
| Feb 18, 2010 - YogaX |
| Feb 21, 2010 - Core Synergistics |
| March 1, 2010 - P90X Chest, Shoulders and Triceps + Ab RipperX |
| March 2, 2010 - PlyometricsX |
| March 5, 2010 - Kempo X |
| March 6, 2010 - P90X Back and Bicep |
| March 9, 2010 - P90X Chest, Shoulders and Triceps |
| March 10, 2010 - P90X Kempo X |
| March 11, 2010 - P90X Back and Biceps + P90X Ab RipperX |
| March 13, 2010 - P90X Plyometrics X |
| March 16, 2010 - P90X Chest, Shoulders and Triceps |
| March 17, 2010 - P90X Plyometrics X + Ab Ripper X |
| March 20, 2010 - P90X Back and Biceps + Ab Ripper X |
| March 21, 2010 - P90X Kempo X |
| March 22, 2010 - P90X Cardio X + Ab Ripper X |
| March 24, 2010 - P90X Core Synergistics |
| March 25, 2010 - P90X KenpoX |
| March 27, 2010 - P90X Core Syndergistics |
| March 30, 2010 - P90X Chest and Back |
| March 31, 2010 - P90X PlyometricsX + Ab RipperX |
| April 3, 2010 - P90X Shoulders and Arms |
| April 5, 2010 - P90X KenpoX + Ab Ripper X |
| April 8, 2010 - P90X Chest, Shoulders and Triceps |
| April 12, 2010 - P90X PlyometricsX + AbRipperX |
| April 13, 2010 - P90X Biceps and Back |
| April 14, 2010 - P90X KenpoX + AbRipperX |
| April 15, 2010 - P90X CardioX |
| April 19, 2010 - P90X Chest and Back |
| April 21, 2010 - P90X Plyometrics + AbRipperX |
Thursday, April 15, 2010
P90X Day 86 - Super Fine!
Despite only working out twice last week due to birthday week shenanigans I am still at 221 lbs and feeling lean and strong. People are starting to notice all of my hard work for the last three months and that just motivates me further.
Raegan and I have a fairly busy next few weeks, and with the Vegas countdown now at 22 days I wonder if I can carve off those last 6lbs in time? I have conceded that at least until we're back from our trip that there is very little chance of me doing cardio in the morning before work. Given that I work out at 10 or 11 pm I just don't see it (not that it isn't the dream and eventual end goal for me).
215lbs is a good weight for me to hit Vegas with and if I can get down there in time I know I'll feel better when I'm poolside :)
Tonight is P90X KenpoX + AbRipperX (which is getting easier! It just takes time!). Friday will be P90X Legs and Back and I'll pound out some P90X CardioX + AbRipperX before we take off on Saturday! I've got to bring it for the next three weeks to make it down to 215lbs! I know I can do this!
April 8, 2010 - P90X Chest, Shoulders and Triceps
April 12, 2010 - P90X PlyometricsX + AbRipperX
April 13, 2010 - P90X Biceps and Back
April 14, 2010 - P90X KenpoX + AbRipperX
April 15, 2010 - P90X CardioX
Raegan and I have a fairly busy next few weeks, and with the Vegas countdown now at 22 days I wonder if I can carve off those last 6lbs in time? I have conceded that at least until we're back from our trip that there is very little chance of me doing cardio in the morning before work. Given that I work out at 10 or 11 pm I just don't see it (not that it isn't the dream and eventual end goal for me).
215lbs is a good weight for me to hit Vegas with and if I can get down there in time I know I'll feel better when I'm poolside :)
Tonight is P90X KenpoX + AbRipperX (which is getting easier! It just takes time!). Friday will be P90X Legs and Back and I'll pound out some P90X CardioX + AbRipperX before we take off on Saturday! I've got to bring it for the next three weeks to make it down to 215lbs! I know I can do this!
April 8, 2010 - P90X Chest, Shoulders and Triceps
April 12, 2010 - P90X PlyometricsX + AbRipperX
April 13, 2010 - P90X Biceps and Back
April 14, 2010 - P90X KenpoX + AbRipperX
April 15, 2010 - P90X CardioX
Sunday, April 4, 2010
P90X Day 75 - Intersting Article... also I might be a little screwed :)
I never thought I would link to something on CNN but it looks like Health.com has an excellent article about how fatty foods have the same addictive properties as cocaine:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/03/28/fatty.foods.brain/index.html
http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/03/28/fatty.foods.brain/index.html
"Not surprisingly, the rats that gorged themselves on the human food quickly became obese. But their brains also changed. By monitoring implanted brain electrodes, the researchers found that the rats in the third group gradually developed a tolerance to the pleasure the food gave them and had to eat more to experience a high. They began to eat compulsively, to the point where they continued to do so in the face of pain. When the researchers applied an electric shock to the rats' feet in the presence of the food, the rats in the first two groups were frightened away from eating. But the obese rats were not. "Their attention was solely focused on consuming food,""
Wednesday March 31 - P90X PlyometricsX + Ab RipperX
Saturday April 3 - P90X Shoulders and Arms
Monday April 5 - P90X KenpoX + Ab Ripper X
Wednesday March 31 - P90X PlyometricsX + Ab RipperX
Saturday April 3 - P90X Shoulders and Arms
Monday April 5 - P90X KenpoX + Ab Ripper X
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
P90X Day 71 - Don't Panic
Weight is 221.6lbs today! Just 10.6 lbs to go in Phase 1, and with 37 days to go before Vegas I should be able to do it if I really apply myself and lose those 2lbs per week that I need to.
My 30's
So, I'm turning 30 next week. I thought I would be more freaked out about it but strangely everything seems like it is going to be okay. I have a great career as a project manager with the company I work for with a very bright future ahead of me (Producer by 32!) My wife and I are very happy together. I have excellent relationships with my friends and coworkers. I have interesting hobbies that enrich my life. I'm planning responsibly for retirement. I've got a good number of vacations planned with friends and family. I'm going to be an uncle soon, and the thought of being a father sometime in the near future doesn't fill me with quite the same level of terror it once did. I'm in a good place, and the only things I need to prove are to myself. I'm not who I thought I would be, but in some ways I'm better.
I'm dry...
I have to confess that diet soda (sweetened with aspartame) is one of my guilty pleasures. I know the aspartame is really bad for me but the combination of guilt free sweetness and caffeine is hard to kick. When I'm out with friends or at a party I'll either drink club soda with a wedge of lime (it looks like a vodka soda) or diet cola. The club soda and lime is usually a better option as it is easier than explaining to people (even at 29 years old) that I don't drink anymore. With this assertion comes the inevitable question as to "why" from those that aren't too afraid that I am a recovering alcoholic or something... I'm a little tired of explaining that I've committed to repairing my body and maintaining good health and that part of that commitment means no more alcohol for a while.
Weight Loss Tracking Data (84 days/12 weeks):
243.2 - Jan 7
242.3 - Jan 8
241.8 - Jan 11
241.8 - Jan 12
241.2 - Jan 13
237.8 - Jan 16
236.2 - Jan 20
235.2 - Jan 22
235.0 - Jan 27
235.4 - Feb 2
235.2 - Feb 3
232.2 - Feb 8
230.8 - Feb 17
227.2 - March 2
226.2 - March 8
222.6 - March 24
221.6 - March 31
221.0 - April 4
Total weight loss: 21.6 lbs
Avg. weight loss per week: 1.8 lbs
Tuesday March 30 - P90X Chest and Back
"Oh good. For a moment there I thought we were in trouble..."
My 30's
So, I'm turning 30 next week. I thought I would be more freaked out about it but strangely everything seems like it is going to be okay. I have a great career as a project manager with the company I work for with a very bright future ahead of me (Producer by 32!) My wife and I are very happy together. I have excellent relationships with my friends and coworkers. I have interesting hobbies that enrich my life. I'm planning responsibly for retirement. I've got a good number of vacations planned with friends and family. I'm going to be an uncle soon, and the thought of being a father sometime in the near future doesn't fill me with quite the same level of terror it once did. I'm in a good place, and the only things I need to prove are to myself. I'm not who I thought I would be, but in some ways I'm better.
I'm dry...
I have to confess that diet soda (sweetened with aspartame) is one of my guilty pleasures. I know the aspartame is really bad for me but the combination of guilt free sweetness and caffeine is hard to kick. When I'm out with friends or at a party I'll either drink club soda with a wedge of lime (it looks like a vodka soda) or diet cola. The club soda and lime is usually a better option as it is easier than explaining to people (even at 29 years old) that I don't drink anymore. With this assertion comes the inevitable question as to "why" from those that aren't too afraid that I am a recovering alcoholic or something... I'm a little tired of explaining that I've committed to repairing my body and maintaining good health and that part of that commitment means no more alcohol for a while.
Weight Loss Tracking Data (84 days/12 weeks):
243.2 - Jan 7
242.3 - Jan 8
241.8 - Jan 11
241.8 - Jan 12
241.2 - Jan 13
237.8 - Jan 16
236.2 - Jan 20
235.2 - Jan 22
235.0 - Jan 27
235.4 - Feb 2
235.2 - Feb 3
232.2 - Feb 8
230.8 - Feb 17
227.2 - March 2
226.2 - March 8
222.6 - March 24
221.6 - March 31
221.0 - April 4
Total weight loss: 21.6 lbs
Avg. weight loss per week: 1.8 lbs
Tuesday March 30 - P90X Chest and Back
"Oh good. For a moment there I thought we were in trouble..."
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
P90X Day 64 - PROGRESS (and a warning about HFCS)
Down to 222.6lbs today after completing a great P90X Core Synergistics workout last night!
Also, if you weren't already aware, High Fructose Corn Syrup makes you fat and has the capacity to damage your liver. This stuff should be illegal. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100322121115.htm
Raegan and I are pretty careful as to the ingredients of the food we keep in the house, that said I'm going to ensure we do a pass of the pantry and freezer to ensure we don't have anything with this poisonous shit in it. Avoiding this stuff will make eating out a little harder but that said, the alternative is to die young and fat I guess... so there's really no decision to be made at all :)
Tuesday March 24, 2010 - P90X Core Synergistics
Wednesday March 25, 2010 - P90X KenpoX
Saturday March 27, 2010 - P90X Core Syndergistics
Also, if you weren't already aware, High Fructose Corn Syrup makes you fat and has the capacity to damage your liver. This stuff should be illegal. http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100322121115.htm
Raegan and I are pretty careful as to the ingredients of the food we keep in the house, that said I'm going to ensure we do a pass of the pantry and freezer to ensure we don't have anything with this poisonous shit in it. Avoiding this stuff will make eating out a little harder but that said, the alternative is to die young and fat I guess... so there's really no decision to be made at all :)
Tuesday March 24, 2010 - P90X Core Synergistics
Wednesday March 25, 2010 - P90X KenpoX
Saturday March 27, 2010 - P90X Core Syndergistics
Monday, March 22, 2010
P90X Day 63 - Integration
Well I'm I've managed to really integrate my workouts with my life and I've been getting a number of independent comments from people exclaiming that I was looking really good and losing weight. It is a good feeling and drives me forward to maintain workout intensity as well as preserve my good eating habits.
I've left phase two and am starting my second "recovery week" this week. I see the greatest weight drop on the scale after my cardio nights (i.e. Plyometrics/Kempo/CardioX) and as such I am seriously considering switching to more of a doubles-lean program to get the most weight loss done before May 7 which is now 45 days away I should be able to peel off another 13 or so pounds by that date (211lbs total) which if done correctly will get me very close to the body shape I had planned for as a best case but realistic scenario for Vegas. To this end I have bumped out my finish date for my first fledgling pass of P90X out to May 6 which is exactly 120 days after starting on January 7. This extra 30 days will account for the week I took off sick and that I was either just plain lazy or demotivated during my first few weeks when faced with a constant barrage of intense workouts. I can see the light now and it isn't that far away anymore as I'm now almost 60% of the way to my goal Phase 1 weight.
Wednesday March 17, 2010 - P90X Plyometrics X + Ab Ripper X
Saturday March 20, 2010 - P90X Back and Biceps + Ab Ripper X
Sunday March 21, 2010 - P90X Kempo X
Monday March 22, 2010 - P90X Cardio X + Ab Ripper X
I've left phase two and am starting my second "recovery week" this week. I see the greatest weight drop on the scale after my cardio nights (i.e. Plyometrics/Kempo/CardioX) and as such I am seriously considering switching to more of a doubles-lean program to get the most weight loss done before May 7 which is now 45 days away I should be able to peel off another 13 or so pounds by that date (211lbs total) which if done correctly will get me very close to the body shape I had planned for as a best case but realistic scenario for Vegas. To this end I have bumped out my finish date for my first fledgling pass of P90X out to May 6 which is exactly 120 days after starting on January 7. This extra 30 days will account for the week I took off sick and that I was either just plain lazy or demotivated during my first few weeks when faced with a constant barrage of intense workouts. I can see the light now and it isn't that far away anymore as I'm now almost 60% of the way to my goal Phase 1 weight.
Wednesday March 17, 2010 - P90X Plyometrics X + Ab Ripper X
Saturday March 20, 2010 - P90X Back and Biceps + Ab Ripper X
Sunday March 21, 2010 - P90X Kempo X
Monday March 22, 2010 - P90X Cardio X + Ab Ripper X
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