Best Men?

We did part one my brother's Stag this weekend and it went pretty damn well. Here is a rough breakdown of the days events:

We began with an early morning abduction. After letting his fiancee know to "be decent" we broke in using the door code and zip tied and duct taped him and then took him out in his skivvies to the trunk of our waiting car to play some bad 90's techno music for him (his natural enemy). We we're in disguise... he was a good sport about it.

We gave him 5 minutes to change into his official "7.7.7 - Ryan's Last Stand" bachelor party t-shirt, custom made hot pink "Groom" helmet and "ball and chain" (I made it out of an old bowling ball, some industrial epoxy, gym equipment handle, and some chain I bought at Home Depot... also lots of duct tape.)

Next we played 9 holes of golf at the course Mom & Dad and Raegan and I all live on. (Mom and Dad's condo is literally right next to the first t-box...) We shotgunned beers, miscounted strokes, screamed battlecry's, lost balls, abused the power carts, and generally acted like maniacs. After enjoying an "late morning" cocktail on the patio we went to the Horse Races. (After a little shuffle of equipment and personnel)

This is also a good time to note that I had constructed "Operational Procedure Cards" for the day. Basically just a series of "missions" and dares for him to complete at each location. Some were pretty tame, other's I was sure would get us kicked out or into a brawl. They were met with "mixed enthusiasm" from the groom. But he was a good sport and generally tried to complete at least half of our outlandish demands for each location.

Snacks, drinks and the first of much gambling took place at the horse races. A good time was had by all, including our right wing, religious relatives some of whom (at 50 years old) had only gambled once or twice before. (Like two bets... ever... grab onto life and just live a little man! LIVE!)

After the horse races (and much to the chagrin of our representatives from the convent) we went to the casino and proceeded to drink our body weight in spiced rum and ginger ale (it was the official drink of the day) and lose at roulette and poker. The poker game became a major part of the day to the point where we randomly got our own table and dealer (there was one douchbag that didn't get the hint dispute being told we wanted to play as a group and he wasn't welcome...we didn't want any "sharks" cleaning out the less experienced players at our table. We were there for a fun game of poker after all.)

After the casino we went to a local pub that the majority of us have very fond memories of, and also because it is one of the few that had not mutated into a dance club meat market. Great times. As another bit of torture we chained him to a lamppost on the main thoroughfare of our city about 1/2 a block from the pub. We had been making a show of telling each other (within his earshot) that we only had the one key for his padlock and that we'd better not lose it. :) no sooner do we get him chained to the post than one of the other groomsmen throws it across the parking lot and says "Well we better find some bolt cutters... lets get a drink first though!" and we proceed to the pub for just that leaving the groom to brave the denizens of downtown. Oddly enough various people stopped to wish him well including a couple on vacation that wanted a picture with our brave groom. Eventually we "found" the other key and placed it on the ground 1/2 meter outside of his reach (cruel I know) and left him to find a charitable passerbyer to pass him the key. Once freed we fed him many horrid shots, "Captain Gingers", and played most of a game of "centurions" (100 "shots" of beer in 100 minutes) and proceeded to get devastatingly drunk, and once again act like maniacs. Played pool, recruited women to wish the groom well, and danced with hot chicks. (Well they looked hot at the time). The night began to wrap up with the groom "spending some time purging" (3 or 4 times) and our motley crew stopping for a late night Shwarma at a local Lebanese kiosk. Good times were had by all!