Loose Ends

Spent the day preparing for 2 weeks aways from work. I still managed to forget a few things but I should be able to take care of them via email. Raegan and I both worked late and then I took her out for a nice end of week dinner. It is surprisingly difficult to find something healthy to eat at most of this resturants in this hick town. We did manage to find a nice place however as I take the fat off I find myself being overtly hostile to the grossly obese. As if their own weakness is a reflection of my own. I see them shoveling melted cheese and ice cream into their faces and it's clear to me that I can never go back. Maybe my feelings are intensified because I used to be very much like them and to some extent the addiction to food will always be there in the back of my mind waiting for a moment of weakness. This is no doubt a little melodramatic but I wonder what will happen when I run out of self loathing? Will I still have the ability to fight it or will I find myself shuffling up to the all you can eat indian food buffet for more butter chicken?

• Meal 1: Nature Valley Granola Bar (140 cal)
• Meal 2: 8 slices turkey bacon (240 cal)
• Meal 3: 1.5c Fat Free sugar free blueberry Yogurt (140 cal)
• Meal 4: 1 grilled chicken breast (240 cal), 2c Romain (20 cal), 6 cherry tomatos (30 cal), cucumber (10 cal), green onion (5 cal), 1/2 tbsp cranberries (60 cal), 1tbsp slivered almonds (35 cal), 3 tbsp sesame ginger dressing (30 cal) [Total 430 cal]
  
• Meal 5 : 2 scoops chocolate whey protein powder (240 cal), 10g L-Glutamine, 1c skim milk (90 cal) [Total 330 cal]
• Meal 6: Jamacan Jerk Chicken Salad
  
• Meal 7: 6 slices turkey bacon, 2 slices flax bread, 2 tbsp natural peanut butter, 2 tbsp no sugar added raspberry jam