There is nothing sadder than coming back...

All cryptic bullshit aside, I'm heavy again and entirely abandoned my diet and exercise program after the last attempt. One year later, same situation. Although my starting point is a little lower (approx 245 lbs) as opposed to 252 lbs.

I think I'm going to die unless I lose weight. The life insurance company has rated me medically due to increased liver function due to my weight. I snore, and keep my wife up at night, any illusions of self esteem and confidence in my looks is gone.

I have a design flaw, the frame and associated organs and systems were never ment to support this much of me and yet I am so inclinded to pack on the weight if there is even a moment's weakness. I think I'm over being bitter about not being able to eat like a normal human being. Now I'm just scared that I'll die unless I get healthy. With the best case scenario that doesn't include weightloss being a terrible quality of life and a constant yearning to be fit and attractive just one more time.

I wondered what my catalyst was going to be this time, last time it was shame and vanity. Now I'm fighting to save my life.

Lets do it one more time.

Clever and self-deprecating Title

It's late January now, we lived it up on the honeymoon, and despite some bad weather, lost luggage and a few other hiccups we had a great time.

So great in fact that we booked a trip to Vegas with some friends in May. We're feeling more financially stable than ever before. I quit "the pit of despair" and am in the process of completing my move to a different department at work.

Apparently I'll get to travel quite a bit this year, potentially going to San Fransisco, Seattle, Los Angeles and maybe even Germany!

Too much coffee today. I got a huge mug while on vacation and it is messing with my caffeine dosage.

Plans for fitness:

Well as always I need a goal. An end point by which to not only motivate me but to also measure my success.

I need to be sub-200lbs by May 10, 2008. I don't want to be another fatty walking around Vegas.

Consistency of execution in my efforts seems to be the biggest problem. I know what must be done and how to do it but I allow myself to be distracted from these goals over time.

I lost almost 35lbs for my wedding (got down to 202lbs!) However, literally the day after the wedding I totally discarded my fitness and healthy eating habits.

Ultimately I have 106 days as of 1/25/2008 to take off just over 30 lbs. Just over 15 weeks. I need to lose 2lbs a week which is not impossible given what I know about weight loss.

I think the re-application of my previous techniques, monitoring calorie intake and ensuring that those calories are quality nourishment and then combining these efforts with consistent 4x/week exercise will provide me with the required results.

I it's time to do it again.

I wonder if it's time to try something like a gastric bypass (or even the gastric banding) option or maybe even liposuction? That has to be a healthier long term option when compared to going up and down in weight by 30lbs every year.